There has never been a time previously when people have had to adapt to change more quickly, particularly in the workplace.
Working in the field of mental health care - we all braced for the mental health issues that would overwhelm us last year, and while there have been some, this hasn’t been to the extent I think many health care professionals initially anticipated. I think the reason for that is that people, especially South Africans - are more adaptable than we give them credit for and also - because change does not always have to be a bad thing.
change can be a good thing – if you have some resilience and adaptability. Because change is inevitable…in any environment. Accepting change is the first step in being realistically optimistic about the effects of change.
And while some change is so obviously good, it’s easy to see that early on and then we can just embrace it and carry on - we’re often faced with disruptions that certainly don’t feel welcome.
The good news is that embracing change is not a difficult skill to learn. And once you start looking at change as a good thing, you’ll be amazed at some of the benefits that can follow. But how do you get there – how do you get to a point where you think change is a good thing?
Well, I want to tell you about this emotional process that happens to you – people have studied it – they have figured out how you go through different feelings or emotions and what you can do to help yourself keep moving forward to get to that stage where you can see change can be a good thing!
Realizing and recognizing the emotions of change or the feelings that come with change can help you better move through the change. Change is hard either way, but if you ignore the emotions – squash them down – don’t deal with them - you’ll find yourself always battling to make the change successful and probably just get stuck in one of the stages.
Lots of research by really educated people has gone into this model and they have found that its more the norm than the exception that people go through these stages as the changes are happening.
Let’s first discuss the process - and then we will discuss some tips on how to keep moving!
So in this emotional process, people start off feeling shocked, maybe they are even in denial – like the ostrich putting their head in the sand – you can see how if you get stuck here – not much good can come of this. It’s not a very productive stage But, this stage is important to give you some time, to just prepare for what lies ahead.
The next emotion usually experienced is anger – and this can be directed at anyone – at work, at home, yourself – but again, not a healthy place to stay. It’s often said that anger or resentment is like picking up a hot coal to throw at someone else – you’re usually the only one who gets burned. Getting stuck in this stage is not helpful in dealing with the change that’s making you feel angry.
Often in the process of change – once we get over feeling angry about it - we start to feel guilty or like if we had done something differently this wouldn’t be happening to us or the change wouldn't be affecting us – we may go through lots of what if’s and spending too much time in this part of the process doesn’t help us move through at all. What you can do is remember in this stage that there are things we can control and things we can’t – we definitely can’t control the past and over thinking things wishing it could have been different is not helpful.
Usually what follows these emotions as you begin to take in what is actually happening or the consequences of the change - is a sense of sadness – feeling quite hopeless or down about what’s going on. So, the good thing about feeling this way is that the reality of what is happening is starting to set in and usually acceptance is near. What’s tough about this stage is that feeling sad or down or even depressed – is usually not very useful if we want to stay positive, keep moving forward and all of that stuff.
It’s here that we need to make sure we have the right kind of support, we want to make sure we are doing things that help us focus on the other good things in our lives or the things that make us feel good and provide a bit of a distraction from the situation. But I need to say at this point that sometimes though, there might be a need for more professional help in this stage and that’s ok – there is nothing wrong with needing a professional to guide you in moving through this stage – you wouldn’t deny help from a doctor or a nurse or a physio if you needed help with a broken arm – it’s really the same thing - reaching out to counsellor or a doctor is something so useful to do to avoid getting stuck in this stage.
And then finally – acceptance. This brings with it many emotions – hopefully – having been well supported through the other stages and allowing the process to unfold in a healthy way – you can come out of it feeling positive – ready to deal with the change and make the most of it.
You want to get to a point where you know that you can do it – you can keep going even though the change is not what you wanted, that the change made you feel stressed and made you look for help you didn’t even know you would need – but you did it and you can keep doing it.
Change can be a good thing – you just have to make it work for you. You have got to learn from the challenge and just keep moving forward. To keep going, its often useful to set a goal and then have a plan – figure out what you want next and focus on what can be and not what isn’t. Focus on what you want and not what you don’t have. Then just keep your eye on that prize!
And finally – most importantly – don’t give up! Dealing with change is tough, but you can do it. You may have to dig deep but find the strength you need to keep going!
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